Lord Harrington
Hello my friends.
Apparently I have to start pulling my weight round here a little more so
as well as my dear little column, I have also been asked to answer some of your fashionable
questions about what to wear and how to wear it.
So I’ll just get my pipe and a small brandy and get to work.
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Vernon Rochefort
Yes, that's right.
I'm tied into reading your infernal letters as well as writing my damn column.
Oh well, let the drivel commence.
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Dear Lord Harrington & Mr Rochefort
For as long as I can remember I have worn black on practically every occasion.
Before you ask, no I am not a Goth, I just feel most comfortable in black.
Unfortunately I have not had any luck finding a suitable man and I feel that this
maybe to do with my appearance.
What would you suggest I wear to brighten me up and attract the attention of that
special someone?
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Ah young love.
I was talking to Dr O just yesterday about his first kiss and let me tell
you, he had me in tears.
Quite the romantic our Dr O.
So you would like to attract a gentleman friend would you?
Well nothing says ‘I’m available’ like a pair of bright red suspenders.
Seems strange to you perhaps, but in the small island of Tanganiki that I was
fortunate enough to be chief consul of, all of the men were in love with this one woman who
wore red braces.
Or did she?
I forget if truth be told.
Have you tried simply not wearing black? This may be the answer to your little problem.
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Firstly I would like to congratulate you for having he respect to call me Mr. Rochefort
instead of the far too familiar Vernon as most people do.
Unfortunately that is the only thing that deserves praise.
I hardly think that it is the fact you wear black that stops you from finding
‘that special someone’ – doubtless you have a stupid face or non-child
bearing hips.
Better that black be the colour you feel comfortable in than orange or puce.
Count yourself lucky and don’t bother me with your asinine problems again.
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